Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Rev. Barry Hidey

As we come to the conclusion of our seven discipleship traits, hopefully you’ve gotten your bookmark as a reminder. Even though we come to the end of a series, we’re not coming to the end of practicing these traits and living them out. We have the website at the bottom of the bookmark, www.thejesusjourney.org. You can go there if you’ve missed a sermon; they are all there in transcript. You can also pick up a devotional out at the Welcome Desk, or they are also available on the website. We really believe that center section of the devotional, the goals and beliefs and practices, are what we need to begin to use each and every day.

Since Doug told me I couldn’t show any more pictures, I decided to show videos today. We are going to hear the story of Kathy Krajewski. She will share with us how she, through relationships, grew in her relationship with Jesus Christ.

Let’s listen to her story.

“Hello, my name is Kathy Krajewski. My husband John and I and our family have been members here for over ten years. Barry asked me to share a little of my story with you. I grew up in a religious family, but I never really understood what faith was. Throughout our marriage John would speak about his faith in God. My son Peter attended a day care and his day care provider would send home a Bible verse each day in his diaper bag. When he turned six, she even presented him with his very own Bible. My children have amazed me over the years in how they have come to grow and know God and learn to read the Bible.

I thought, “what about me?” Of course, I prayed about this. It was through the 40 Days of Purpose and the “Journey through the Bible” last year that I found myself coming to know what faith was. I had so many questions as I was reading the Bible by myself, and asking God to guide me where he wanted me to be. Well, God had a plan. He placed me and my younger son Luke at Churchville Gymnastics last spring in a class. It was there that I met Susan Hudson, Leslie Doroba, and Stacie Farley. One day Susan was reading her Bible and we started up a conversation. She told me that she was member of a morning Bible group. I shared with her that I had never been part of a small group, but that I felt that I was at that point in my life. She invited me to attend with her one morning, so I stepped outside of my comfort zone and I joined her.

I took a risk, and I’ve been a member of this group since last spring – it’s a Wednesday morning women’s group; we’re all moms and women of faith. We are led by C. Anne Fischer and Laura Musser. It has been a wonderful experience for me. I have grown closer to God. I‘ve developed wonderful friendships, and I’ve been disciplined in my daily walk with God. Many of my questions have been answered by God and by the group discussions, but I have so much more to learn. Who knows where God is going to lead me? I may even step out and take a risk again and join the Disciple class or who knows what. I can honestly sit here today and tell you that I have faith and not just religion.”

Well, as we go through these seven traits we understand that there is connection between each of them. We start off by saying that we need to be a learner, but as we hear through Kathy’s story to be a learner ties into being a relater. Many times the questions that we asked need to be asked of another person. It’s neat to hear her story.

Kathy helps us to understand that there are some

1. Rewards of Relationship

As we look through the passage of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, there are some really great rewards that we get.

A. Good return. (9) ”Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor.” (NLT)

We understand what a good return is like. For example, think back to the last snow storm. If you were shoveling the driveway, and someone in your family or a neighbor stepped in to help, you realize that the work goes twice or three times as fast when you have help. In the office or in the workplace, we realize that when someone offers a hand, that many hands can make the labor light.

B. Good help. (10) If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. (NLT)

We know that good relationships provide good help. We’ve heard the terrible stories of a person living alone and they fall. They can stay down for days until somebody calls, unless they have a cell phone or something close by to call for help. They can’t get up, unless somebody helps them.

C. Good warmth. (11) And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? (NLT)

Now, I was trying to figure out if I could use this as a positive thing. Holly reminded me the other night of this. She said, “I can’t wait for you to come to bed so my feet can get warm.” You realize it’s only a one-way street with cold feet in bed!

D. Good strength. (12) A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. (NLT)

We understand that there is good strength in numbers.

Let’s look at this in the spiritual realm and how this relates to us in the body of Christ.

As we understand a return in the spiritual sense can be seen as new ideas and insights that someone gives you when you ask them a question about a biblical passage or when you are trying to figure out God’s will. Someone else can help return the answers to your questions, just as you can do the same for them.

Help can be seen as support in a crisis or a helping hand. Where would we be if we didn’t have somebody next to us in the midst of a crisis? When there’s a death, an illness, when someone comes along side of us, when we’re upset, when we’re joyful; it’s wonderful to have a helping hand in the midst of crisis.

Warmth. How many times has the warmth of someone’s generosity, a kind word, or a thoughtful gesture warmed our heart and changed us?

Strength. You ask for in prayer when you are facing temptation or a difficult choice and you find strength in that best friend or small group member or prayer partner or prayer group. We know that someone coming along side of us in the body of Christ provides that strength.

I also think it’s important to take in the big view, as we see that indeed there are some rewards to relationships and that’s what we want to be. I asked somebody else to share a story, somebody who has grown up in the church because his father was a minister, and he was a preacher’s kid. I asked Jim Butcher to share with us how he has seen this in his life and in this church.

“Hello, my name is Jim Butcher. I have been a member of Bel Air United Methodist Church for, I don’t know how long. I know that when we joined our kids were in our arms and now they have kids of their own, so it’s been a while. It’s a fabulous place, and I don’t have to tell you it’s alive; it’s spiritual; it’s energetic; and it’s a welcoming place. That’s why we chose BAUMC. I was a Presbyterian before, but we needed a church that was alive like the one that we left.

The greatest thing about this place is the peripheral activities. It’s one thing to come to church every week and worship; that’s a bonding thing with fellow Christians. It does your heart good to hear the word of God in worship. But it’s another thing altogether to be part of the culture of the church. It’s these small groups like Disciple, the 40 Days of Purpose, where you work in people’s home in cottage-ministries that are essential to the life, the energy, and the vitality of the church and its doctrine and spirituality. The church originally started in small cottages in the New Testament. They met in small cottages before there were big cathedrals. That’s why I think it’s so vital to the life of the church or our own personal Christian walk, it’s essential that we get together with others. You learn that everyone else has problems like you do. Temptations and frustrations, just like you do.

In studying the scriptures with these folks, I find that God uses regular people, just like us to do his work. It’s not the giants and the popes and the higher-ups in the church structure, it’s us regular folks that need to go out and do his work, so that’s gratifying and refreshing. It gave me a purpose in going to these small groups. We are expected to listen to God’s word and to do his work. What better way to do this than to mix in with others, who are in the same walk that you are in? I’d like to thank everyone that is watching this, as you are part of my own Christian growth. I am kind of a social guy. I come to this church to see my friends, but worshipping with everyone is a very powerful thing.”

We understand the impact that the relater has in the big picture of the church, but how do we get there?

What are the things that we need to do to make sure that we get these rewards, that our lives are touched?

To do this, we need to understand the

2. Rules of Relationship

A. Be accepting.
Romans 15:7 says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” We know what it’s like to realize that there is somebody that we don’t like and we don’t accept them because they don’t meet our criteria. The door is closed to that relationship. When we are not accepting, there is not going to be a relationship that happens. In the church, we have to make sure that our doors are open and that anybody can come, and that we meet them where they are and love them where they are. We have to remember that Jesus loves us, while we are still sinners and died for us.

Another verse that helps us understand accepting is Romans 12:16, which says, “Live in harmony with one another.” With this relationship, accepting is being together in harmony.

Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

That’s how relationships begin and continue, by accepting and being harmonious and forgiving.

B. Be there
To be honest, if we aren’t there or aren’t present in somebody’s life, and we stay locked up in our house and never leave, of course there won’t be any relationships because we will never be present in someone else’s life. You know what it’s like when someone is there for you and that change it makes for you. Let’s look at some scriptures,

Hebrews 10:25, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” That’s talking about coming together in worship, but also in informal ways.

Then, what Jim shared with us, Acts 2:46, “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.” They gathered for worship outside the temple, but they then continued in small groups in their homes together – eating and sharing and praying and growing.

Finally, Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

C. Be real
Colossians 3:9 says, “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.” In my relationship series sermon a couple of years ago, the challenge isn’t so much that we lie, but it is what we pretend to be. We say that we are doing fine, when our lives are falling apart. There is a risk, a vulnerability in being real and letting people see the grit and the dirt and what is there; it’s wonderful because they still love you. We see that in grace in Jesus Christ, so we need to trust somebody else. Only when we are real do true relationships grow, develop, and mature.

D. Be attentive
Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. (4) Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.”(NLT)

Be interested in others. That’s the best way to begin a relationship and a friendship. Just give somebody attention. Yesterday I dropped in on Tom Hodges’ workshop in relating on youth and this works with someone of any age. To relate to someone and get their attention, just listen and ask questions. It’s amazing how it draws them out. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Someone asking the right questions and being attentive allows the relationship to grow and the right things to happen.

Philippians 2:20 says, “I have no one else like him, (this is Paul speaking about Timothy) who takes a genuine interest in your welfare.” People see a genuine interest. Real relationships happen when we show that genuine interest.

Finally, what brings it all together,

E. Be like Jesus
Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “1Follow God's example in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins.” (NLT)

That’s what this Jesus Journey is about. It’s becoming like Jesus. Back when we started this Journey, I made it clear that our journey is not about getting to heaven, but it’s about becoming like Christ. When we are like Christ, relationships happen and we see something else that is the key to relationships.

3. Roads to Relationship
To be honest, you go out here on Linwood Avenue and it can take you anyplace you want to go, but you have to get on the road. You have to leave the parking lot and get on the road. Any interaction with any person you meet can be the beginning of relationship. It’s just a matter of following the rules and saying “Hello”.

In “Proclaimer” last week, I made a big point about how we want others to join us on this journey with Jesus. We want to invite others to walk along side of us and be part of that relationship and take them to the next part of the journey, and then we pass them off to someone else. Now it’s not a literal passing off, but we have touches in somebody’s life, bits of that relationship. We saw it in Kathy’s story, when she said the day care provider sent Bible verses home and how her husband, John, was sharing with her and then it was her children. Finally it was some folks in a gymnastics class. They didn’t get together to do that, but God provides people in our lives so we can relate and move them to the next level of their journey.

Jesus didn’t ask the disciples to say “come” and you just go yourself. He said come follow me, come be with me, be in relationship with me. So the disciples were in relationships with each other and they learned a lot as they tried to understand. They didn’t get it right all of the time, but they walked with Jesus and they drew others in along the way. There were crowds that followed Jesus that were invited along the way.

Look what happened when Jesus met Zaccheus. Zaccheus said “I’m not good enough and nobody loves me”, so he was up in the tree all alone. Jesus said, “Come down and be with me.” He ended up going to his house to have dinner and he invited his friends. He didn’t allow Zaccheus to be alone, but in relationship.

Who are the Zaccheus’ in our lives? Who do we need to tell to come down? Begin to talk, ask questions, be attentive, and be real.

We saw it was Saul/Paul, when he was on the road to Damascus and going to kill some Christians, when God intervened and stopped him. You notice what he did. Paul was dependent on others because he was blind and he couldn’t see them. He needed them and God spoke to Anaias and said he needed to go to Paul. When he met with Paul it was then that Paul was healed and filled with the Holy Spirit. It was then that he was in a relationship.

People come to Christ because God uses relationships all along the way. It later ties into learning, prayer, serving, giving, worshipping, and proclaiming because we are never doing it alone. Sometime we start alone.

Melissa Kerns was one of those balcony dwellers who started alone. Let’s now hear her story.

“Hi. My name is Melissa Kerns and I have been attending Bel Air United Methodist Church for about 6 or 7 years now. Rev. Barry asked me to share my story of how I can from sitting alone every week to sitting with a group of friends. When I first began worshipping here, I willfully came to sit alone, pray alone, and worship alone and I was okay with that. I felt that was what I needed to do. I didn’t feel a conviction to share my faith and my beliefs with anyone. I thought it was enough for me to come to church and worship privately and then go home. After a few years, it started getting a little lonely. I didn’t really know anyone around where I was sitting, so I thought maybe if I want to talk to somebody, I should start inviting people I know.

A friend of my at a dinner one night shared that he was looking for a church. I suggested that he come with me because I sit alone and have no one to talk to. Lo and behold, he came the next Sunday (it was Dr. Bill Smith) and he is now a regular attendee, an active member of the Sunday morning men’s Bible Study, and a volunteer with the homeless shelter. After that, another friend of mine (Larry Kalmbacher) heard me talking about how the two of us were enjoying going to church together and he said that he would like to try going to church. Now, a couple of years later he is also a regular attendee, a volunteer at the homeless shelter, and a regular participant in the toy workshop. I then met my friend Elizabeth Horn about a year ago and she said she was interested in trying out this church. She now attends every week with Bill and Larry. She is also volunteering this year with the homeless shelter and she and I have joined a women’s Bible Study on Monday nights with Judy Jones. Elizabeth has also invited her mother and a couple of other friends (Steven Moore and Bob Moore).

It really hasn’t stopped there – I am still looking for more friends to invite. It’s a lot more fun now; I look forward to church; I look forward to Sunday, and I look forward to actually sharing the message and the love of God now. I’m not afraid to do it. It gets easier every time you do it. All it usually takes to get a friend to come to church is an invitation. It’s as simple as that and it’s really rewarding. You never know where it’s going to stop. Everyone I have invited is really enjoying the work of God. Give it a try sometime.”

I think that’s the best conclusion we can have to this sermon. Follow Melissa’s challenge!

Let us pray. Oh gracious God, we thank you for the people that are around us in our lives. People that have loved us, that have taught us, that have been real with us, that have supported us and have helped us, guided us and confronted us. Lord, we are where we are today because of those people. We thank you for that. Lord, we know that there are others out there, people we have not met, people that you are going to place in our path this week – people that are sitting around us in the sanctuary this week that w don’t know. Help us to find that one person and make a difference in the one person that you will be putting in our path or have been putting in our path that we have walked around. Help us to make a difference one person at a time. In Jesus’ name. Amen.